Castles and Butterflies
by kickstergal
Summary: Chapter Sixteen up. "This thing we're doing, Castle? It's fractions of the same whole." She shrugged, looked him in the eye. "So I'm here."
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. If I did, I would have had my chef make me toasted cheese sandwiches instead of making my flatmate do it XD

He made her feel like a girl.

That was the crux of it, this problem that she had with him.

He pushed her and pulled her and turned her around until she was barely holding on to her own common sense and seriousness, let alone his.

He poked and prodded and wormed his way under her skin until she got so used to him being there she didn't try so hard to scratch at him, snap at him until his wormed his way back out anymore.

He made her madder than anyone, more confused, more frustrated.

There were days she swore she'd never speak to him again, that she'd clear out his desk, ban him from the station, _shoot him_, and still, _still_ he made her feel like a girl, like she was still in braces and knee socks, with butterflies in her stomach and pigtails in her hair.

Like the armour she tried so hard to keep up 24/7 wasn't as thick as she thought it was. Like, maybe, just maybe everything she pushed deep down under the surface was actually waiting patiently in the shadows, picking the right moment to pounce.

But that didn't mean she was _repressed_, as he'd accused her of being last week. She wasn't _in denial_, like he'd told her smugly in the elevator yesterday. And she certainly wasn't _curious_, like she was currently being told by her pain-in-the-ass, couldn't-shoot-straight-if-given-a-ruler, over-dramatic, adjective using, pen wielding pseudo-partner.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

She stared at him, hoping patience was written on her face. Not panic. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm-" She stopped. Considered how many more no I'm nots it would take it shut him up, and decided even if the estimate was on the low side she would still have to taser him at some point.

"Castle."

"Hm."

"Shut up."

He pounced. "Ha! I win."

She glared at him. "You don't _win_. I just don't see the point in arguing when you've clearly deluded yourself past the point of no return."

She went to step past him, mentally awarding herself points for a snappy comeback.

Castle aimed both hands at her, fingers pointed into guns. "Hold it."

She stopped, glancing pointedly at her watch.

He gave her a game show host smile. "Hey, speaking of self-delusion, why can't you admit you want to know?"

"I don't want to know. And I care a great deal more about the good coffee waiting for me at home than I do about your attempt to burst your overinflated ego, so-" She gave an _adios, amigo _wave.

"-Goodnight, Castle."

"Good imagery," He murmured as she eased past him, thankful to be out of the hot seat and ready for at least two of the chocolate bars she kept in her car for Driving Under the Influence of Castle.

"I caught you snooping."

She stopped. _Oh, crap._

AUTHOR'S NOTE: There will be more. I just...this is the first show I really really like a bazillion in a while and so just wanted to throw this out...into the void...Have a great week


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: Amazingly I still don't own Castle, despite my generous offer of three dollars and the missing button from my coat, miraculously found today in my washing machine.

_Play dumb. The man is probably bluffing; it's practically his chosen career path after writing._

Kate turned around, forcing herself to look him in the eye.

"Castle, what, exactly, am I supposed to have done?"

He grinned at her, rubbing his palms to together in that _let's play, Kate_ way he had that she'd already schooled herself not to react to.

"You know, Becks, I've seen what a buzz it is for you, catching high-end crooks, malicious murderers, thieving..."

"Thieves?" She suggested.

"Thank you. But now, I know what the buzz feels like, I understand the attraction because-"

Castle glided closer to her, his steps punctuating each word.

"-I. Caught. You."

She frowned up at him, ignoring the fact _looming _an accurate term for his proximity to her. "Buzz is your choice of adjective?"

He waved a hand. "Let's not quibble over descriptions, Detective. The point is, you looked through my private notebooks, I saw you do it, and now..."

He bent, and whispered in her ear.

"I get to punish you."

She raised a brow, ignoring the heat rushing to her cheeks. "Oh, that was original."

He grinned at her. "Are you going to deny it? Because that could be fun."

She pondered her options. "I could do that. Or I could ignore you and call it a night."

She stepped forward; he stepped into her path.

"_Or_ I could bring this up around the water cooler tomorrow. Your choice."

Castle moved aside with gentlemanly _after you_ gesture.

She smiled, grimly. _This is what happens when you don't deny your impulses, Kate._

She hadn't planned on snooping. It was pure, spur-of-the-moment, oh-look-Castle-hasn't-locked-away-his-notebook stuff. She'd just wanted to read a little of what he scribbled about day, after day, maybe get a look at how he worked, underneath all that ego and bluster and little-boy pouts.

And now she was going to have to plead insanity.

"Alright, Castle," she began, "I may have-"

"-May have?" He held up a finger. "Could you be a little more specific?"

Castle leant forward, looking left and right as if to impart confidential information.

"I have it on good authority if you don't get specific information confessions don't hold up in court."

He leant back, looking for all the world as if Obama had announced Topless Mondays.

_He's going to milk this, and you're going to have to take it. And then you're going to have to find a way to kill him._

Kate gritted her teeth. "I looked, at 6.15pm, in your personal notebooks in the top right hand side of your drawer which you had left open due to the unforeseen circumstances of your mother hyperventilating on Broadway. I read three pages and put them back, during which you obviously saw me and decided to torture me."

He ignored the last sentence. "Actually, she was practicing hyperventilating for a part on Broadway. Alexis was worried. Needless to say hyperventilation is now banned in our household unless it's me. " He perked up. "But, that was an excellent confession Detective..."

She stilled, waiting for it.

"But we, the jury, still have not heard your reasoning for motive."

Kate bit her lip, then shrugged.

" Impulse control issues, too little caffeine. Who knows? I've gotta book, Castle. It's been real."

Castle shook his finger at her. "Nah-uh-uh."

She tensed up. He wasn't going to let her get away with deflection, tonight. Better to give him something than have him harp on for the next week about kleptomania and god knew what else.

"I wanted to see what it was like."

He cocked his head watching her. "You wanted to see what it was like to be you."

She blew out a breath, wishing he'd stop doing that thing that he did where he saw through her skin.

"Maybe." She threw in a shrug, hoped it looked nonchalant enough that she could get out of this conversation stat.

He smiled his wolf's grin her. "Do you want to hear what I think, Detective Beckett?"

Kate winced. "Not really?" she offered.

He made a buzzer noise into his fist. "Wrong answer, Becks- you snooped- I get to psycho-analyse you."

She rolled her eyes at him. "This from the man who thinks there's a deeper meaning to Twinkies."

He frowned. "Do not mock the Twinkies. This is a Twinkie Mocking Safe Zone. Certified by the FDA."

She nodded, gravely. "Ah. Can I go home?"

"No. Now, I think, that you were snooping though my files, grossly violating my personal space and operating way outside the bounds of ethics and morality-a real turn on, by the way- so that you could find something out what other people see in you. You don't know who you are."

She shook her head, vehemently. "I know who I am, Castle."

"No. You think you know, but, see-"

She cut him off with a jerk of her hand, raising her chin defensively. "I _know_ who I am, Castle."

"No. You don't." He said it simply, so without his usual smugness that she got angry, rushing in to fill the vacuum his certainty created.

"What, you think the hours I work, the exhaustion, the dead bodies, the grieving relatives, all of it- you think I do this because I don't know who I am? You think I work my ass off every day, buried hip deep in other people's tragedies because I'm trying to _find myself_?" She pushed him aside.

Castle followed her as she stalked to her office window, shoved it open. She leant out, breathing in the cold city air, willing it to chill the frustration she felt with him.

With herself, for letting him get to her.

He spoke, and she closed her eyes, pulled her Detective Beckett cloak around herself again. Tried to hear the meaning and not the words.

"You know, very clearly, who you are when you're in this office, Kate. You know who you are when you put on the badge, when you dress in those killer boots and your power colours- red or blue, depending on how bad the case is. You know who you are here, regardless of whether you have station coffee or a gun in your hand."

He paused, waiting, and she nodded, once, opening her eyes to stare out at the city.

"But do you know who you are when you take off your cop's clothes, Detective? When you stand naked in front of your bathroom mirror and wonder who that girl is with all the scars? Do you know how other people see you? Beyond the cop, beyond the woman who works herself past exhaustion everyday because she doesn't know who she is without the work that keeps her purposeful, keeps her quietly desperate for something else?"

He stepped up close. She spun, noted they were almost nose to nose, and stilled, putting on her impersonation of someone that didn't much care if she was touched or not.

She raised her chin and stared at him.

"What do you want, Castle?"

"You looked though my notes on Nicky Heat, so you could see if what I think of you matched up to what you think of you."

He cupped a hand to her cheek, stroked his thumb down her face, once.

"You're not a case you can solve, Beckett."

She sighed. "I know, Castle."

He smiled, suddenly, and dropped his hand.

"But, you know what solves everything? Sex. Let's totally have some."

Kate struggled furiously to control her smile. The damn man always made her laugh at the exact wrong moment. She fixed a stare at him.

"Yeah, Castle. We could just knock boots here in the office and really solve all my problems."

He didn't say anything, just kept watching her face, and the way he was watching her made her thoughts start to slow and lose their sure footing.

Made her realise she didn't know exactly how many steps she was ahead of Castle tonight.

She was about to start justifying, that she didn't actually mean they should knock boots, that, obviously, she was a little nuts. Anything to get him to let her go and be mortified in the comfort of her own home, when she felt her scarf being pulled slowly from around her neck.

The sensation sent a finger of pleasure trailing down her spine and her mouth parted slightly, but for the life of her she couldn't make anything come out.

She watched his eyes flick down to her lips and crinkle slightly, the way they did when he was-

Castle stepped back, gave her a butter-wouldn't-melt smile.

"Your scarf was crooked. Night, Becks."

-Up to something.

He swiftly crossed the room and disappeared out the door, leaving her staring after him.

She'd just managed to close her mouth and remember where she'd put her car keys when he popped his head back in.

"By the way Becks, I do hope you know this means war." He ducked out again.

She blinked. What war? She hadn't started any war. She'd just opened a damn drawer-

"-Castle? What war? This isn't funny!"

She leant back against her deck and looked at the ceiling beseechingly.

"Oh. Shit."

AUTHOR'S NOTES: What's happening? Who knows? Bet Detective Beckett will be feeling more like Kate in a few more chapters, though. Thanks so much for the read and reviews- you guys are making my week, here


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own em. Still. But if I could own that jacket Kate wears with the stylely buttons, I'll stop whining about the fact that I don't own em...:)

Kate Beckett was having one of those days.

She'd pulled a late one, working through the night to climb her impossible mountain of paperwork, to file and report and sign until her hand cramped and her back screamed for mercy.

She'd crawled into bed at 4am and woken to the dulcet tones of New York traffic.

She bolted out of bed to a serenade of honks and shouts signifying yes; she was, late, no; she didn't have time to blow dry her hair, scarf down her usual half a bagel or do much more than have a quick shower, grab her case notes and pray she at least beat Castle to the office.

She reached the station out of breath and ready to shoot whoever she had to for one hit of caffeine.

Desperate, she grabbed her usual mug and the package of Castle's imported stuff, still left on the bench from her three cups the night before. _Funny, I thought I put it away last night._

"You, uh, need a hand, Beckett?"

She frowned at Ryan. "No. Why?"

He shrugged, glancing at Esposito. "No reason. "

Esposito piped up. "You appear to have developed a taste for the finer things in life. My lady."

She glanced down, then surveyed the bemused gazes of her team.

_Oh, no_.

She still suffered through station coffee purely on principal, and because she knew it got under Castle's skin when she snubbed his coffee, and made loud proclamations about people who got too used to their cushy lifestyles.

But she'd bent her own rules and relented on her after hours policy. She'd cracked , one night after a hard case and because of the persistent desire to have, for once, something that made her toes curl.

She never drank it when her team could mock her for it.

_I can't believe I left it out. I wouldn't have grabbed it if it wasn't right there._

She took a deep breath, prepared to tough it out.

"So I'm walking on the wild side for a change. Call the freaking _Times_, Esposito; maybe I'll make page two."

"Who's on page two?"

Castle strolled into the room, and sat in her chair.

Esposito grinned. "Detective Beckett. She's investing in Italian caffeine."

Castle leaned back, eyeing her speculatively. "Reeeallly?"

She felt herself flush, and dumped the mug on her desk, wishing she'd been able to have at least a half a cup before her Three Stooges had entered stage left.

Castle steepled his fingers, watching her with that look he had that said he knew way more about her than she wanted to think about.

"Why, Detective Beckett, I didn't realise you were such a fan. Quite the opposite, in fact. _Fancy_, you called it. _Pretentious, overpriced, and poncey_, you said._ For rich people who have nothing else to spend their money on_, you told us."

She flicked her hair out of her face, warning herself to show no weakness.

"Yeah, well. Had to try out a local brand. I'm considering moving to Europe after I murder the three of you in your sleep."

Castle smirked. "Oh, I don't think you'll want to do _that _to me in my sleep, Detective."

She glared at him. "How about you keep sitting in my chair and we'll find out, Castle?"

Castle swung out of her chair and raised two hands, innocent.

"I just meant, I'm now your enabler for fine Italian coffee. I don't think you'll want to kill me anytime soon."

She simply levelled her gaze at him, then flicked her gaze between Esposito and Ryan.

"You two have your assignments?"

Ryan flashed a grin. "Last known whereabouts of victim; Tiffany's. Let's go interview some rich broads, Esposito."

Esposito followed him to the door. "I'll case the joint for you, Beckett; you might want to move into jewellery after you're done with the fancy caffeine."

She shrugged, supremely unconcerned. "If it's all the same to you Esposito I think that's your department; I've seen those Facebook photos."

Esposito flushed as Ryan coughed into his hand, trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. Kate smirked as Castle drew a box in the air and painted a line in the centre.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that's a Score Uno for Detective Beckett."

Esposito waved a hand, exasperated. "One time, you dress up in- alright, alright, we'll see the resident class clown- and you, Detective Beckett- later."

Kate sank into her chair, eyeing the coffee. "Later, boys." She added as an afterthought.

"Go on."

She dragged her gaze from the mug and raised her brows at Castle.

"Are you still here?"

He shrugged. "Where am I going to go? All the action's here. And you know you want to."

She stared at him. "I don't know what you're talking about. I need to go over these notes, so do you think you could make yourself semi-useful and go ask the Captain what the ETA on the vic's parents is?"

He nodded, making a show of considering her request. "I could, but it's much more fun watching you try to resist the coffee."

She blinked at him. "I'm not resisting anything."

He smirked at her, mischief glinting in his eyes. "Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are. Your gaze gets kind of unfocused and you do this-" He held up his hand, with the pinky and thumb pressed together, "-when you're trying to resist something. Or when you're nervous."

She hastily put her hands in her lap, wondering what other tells he had on her.

"Castle."

"Hm."

She leant forward, and spoke calmly, in a rational tone of voice.

"If you do not go and talk to the Captain right now, I will never, ever, ever, let you into a crime scene again, so help me God."

Castle held her gaze. "Never ever ever? You're breaking out the never double evers?"

She didn't manage to stop her lips twitching; saw his gaze flick down to her mouth.

"Never. Ever. Ever."

Castle considered her. "Well, Detective Beckett, I believe I may just go down and have a chat to the Captain. _Arrivederci, la mia bella."_

"_Se non ti vedo prima._" She replied, smirking when his eyes lit in that way they did when he was delighted with her.

"Wow, score two... That's gotta be a record."

She glared at his back at he skipped around the door frame to head down the hall, then fixed her gaze firmly on the mug.

"Hello, _mia bella._" She murmured as she lifted the mug, closing her eyes as she inhaled the scent.

She took a sip, tipped her head back as the caffeine slid down her throat. _Oh, yeah._

She took another, letting out a satisfied sigh, and her hands clenched possessively around the mug.

She opened her eyes to see Castle leaning against her desk.

"Castle!" She shoved the mug away from her, ignoring the sarcastic voice in her head.

_Yeah, Kate. That'll work. Proximity to the evidence is always the sole indicator of guilt._

"Becks." Castle's voice came out strangled, and he coughed, shifted his weight slightly, then gave her his patented boy-are-_you_-in-trouble look.

"Detective Beckett, I believe you owe me an apology."

She glared at him. "Why aren't you gone?"

He waved a hand. "In a minute. Why can't you just admit you enjoy my coffee for the...obvious, pleasure it brings you?"

She bit her lip, tasted coffee. "Bite me, Castle."

He smirked. "Sure. Where?"

"You are such a-" She stopped, as something hit her. "Wait a minute. _You_ put the coffee out, so I'd take it this morning. You knew I'd been using it; there was no demonstrable surprise when you walked in today. You orchestrated this whole thing."

Castle leant down, looked her in the eye. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She snorted, her mind already speculating as to why he'd chosen to mess with her. Usually he was too terrified that she'd actually cut him off from the crime scenes to play practical jokes. Unless-

She stared at him. "'_This means war._'"

He grinned at her, managing to look both boyish and dangerous at the same time. "Give the girl the brass ring."

"All because I looked in your files?"

He shrugged. "Not all. I figure it's time to start peeling the Beckett onion." He glanced down at her mug. "I like the layers so far. Do you?"

She kept staring at him, nonplussed.

Castle nodded, like he'd measured her, figured she'd had enough of whatever it was he was trying to dish out.

"So, the Captain. See you later, take two."

He strolled out.

Staring after him, she leant back in her chair, case notes forgotten, and took an absent sip of coffee.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm thinking Kate is getting sick of being two steps behind lately, and maybe she should take a leap to get ahead? Thanks, again, for your lovely read and reviews- I'm going to end up permanently red from them XD


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anyone going by the name of Castle, Beckett...or Clooney, if we're really doing a wish list, here.

Kate Beckett was fairly certain she was having an epiphany.

She knew she was probably having one because Castle's jaw had dropped and nothing was coming out. Ergo, she must have said something that either beat him at his own game, or was so truly shocking he was rendered incapable of using the power of speech.

"You know, Castle, you're going to catch flies. Or pigeons." She added as the kid next to them threw a breadstick and attracted half the resident flying rats in Central Park.

Castle had persuaded her into coming to watch a mime production in the park. She'd refused, he'd wagered her acceptance in a bet on a perp that she didn't remember participating in and refused to acknowledge. He'd then resorted to bribery, and so for a month's ceasefire on Castle's enquiries as to what her subscriber name on his website was, she considered herself a mostly willing participant in Castle's quest to understand the lives of mimes.

They'd been observing, and then he'd been observing and she'd been staring off into the distance, idly considering their partnership, as well as calculating when, exactly, she could propose lunch without being told she was mimist or not appreciating the plight of the audio challenged or something, when it had hit her.

How to win the battle, and the war.

He wanted to peel the Beckett onion; she'd give him the whole Beckett onion. She'd give him so much he never wanted to know about Detective Kate Beckett that he'd be begging for her to shut up before she was through. She'd give him all of the surface details of her life and none of the deep water stuff he was so determined to fish.

She'd drown him in shallow water, and hopefully he'd cease the campaign to "Find Kate" when he realised she wasn't going to play.

And so Castle's jaw was scraping the ground, at her casual suggestion that she take him to dinner, and tell him about herself.

Castle closed his mouth. Opened it. Closed it.

"Was that a yes, Castle?" She queried, amused.

_Okay, doing this is worth it just to see that look on his face._

Castle squinted one eye at her. "Okay, obviously, you've become a Twilight Zone- pod person-clone-identical twin-genetically modified-look-a-like-type...thing, and I'd come up with a better analogy but, obviously, in your capacity as a pod person you've turned my brain to mush." He blinked at her. "Who are you and what have you done with Kate?"

She leant back on the bench and studied the performers.

"Kate? Hello, do you have any idea how concerned I am for your state of mind right now?"

He waved a hand in front of her, and she swatted him. "What, I'm not allowed to tell you things?"

"Yeah, of course you are." Castle gestured to the mimes. "But generally you give those guys a run for their money. Except, of course, if one desires a lecture on _how to behave at crime scenes._" He mimicked her, making her sound like a hung over Mary Poppins.

She glared at him. "I do not sound like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm auditioning for a Judi Dench movie."

He waved this away. "But, still, you take my point. And are you sure you're not related to that one- he looks _very_ familiar."He pointed to the performers.

She looked, and saw a mime imitating an arrest.

"Oh. Yeah. It's Great Uncle Albert. You wanna do this or not, Castle? Last chance."

"Yes." He said quickly, nodding for emphasis. "But can you leave Uncle Albert at home?" He winced mock apologetically at her. "He kind of freaks me out."

"Alright." She turned her attention back to the performance, wondering why she suddenly felt like she'd invited a wolf into her house of straw.

She supposed it was inevitable, that she'd retaliate eventually. Something inside her kept her pushing back, when he pushed.

And that was just the thing- much as she'd become a mime herself before she admitted it to Castle- she liked the game they played, the tug of war where no one won but they both pulled and pushed at each other, anyway. She liked pushing back, never quite knowing what she'd have to field in return. Because somehow she'd become included in the circle of people he cared for- so it was safe for her to push.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

He was idly sipping his coffee, watching the performers, and grinning his wolf's grin.

_Mostly._ She corrected herself. _It's mostly safe to push._

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Dun dun dun. Stay tuned for Some Very Interesting Dinner Conversation. Thank you, everyone who is reading and reviewing. You Rock. A Whole Lot.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. If they were mine, I'd abandon them in a log cabin for a week and let them figure it out.

Kate strode into the restaurant, slowing just inside the entrance as she remembered that this was the kind of place you were supposed to glide, not act like it was a takedown.

_Should have picked a Kentucky Fried- at least I could have worn jeans._

She sighed, searching the room for Castle and trying to tug her dress down surreptitiously. She spotted him watching her from a table across the room, and her stomach tightened. She let go of her dress, and raised her chin at him, watching him cover his mouth with his hand.

_Oh, we'll see who's laughing by the time I'm through with you, Rick Castle._

"Excuse me, can I help you?"

She turned to the maitre d', who'd materialised out of nowhere.

"Uh, table of two. For two. For Castle. Uh, Kate. For Beckett!"

_Okay, I really, really should have picked Kentucky Fried._

The maitre d' smiled, mostly insincerely, she noted, and led her over to Castle, who put down his wine, smiling at her, and the maitre d'.

"Would you like to order now?"

Castle shook his head, glancing at the woman, then back to Kate, his gaze lingering.

Kate felt a blush starting, and willed it down furiously, cursing herself for wearing something that made her feel like a fish out of water, when she was supposed to be winning this game once and for all.

"You know, I think we'll savour each other's company for a couple of minutes. Thank you."

The maitre d' murmured acquiescence and disappeared. Castle stood up and took her hand, pressing it to his lips. "You know, Miss Beckett, traditionally the male picks the female up at her abode before the date begins."

Kate yanked her hand back. "This isn't a date," she snapped.

Then winced inwardly as his eyes flickered with hurt, before he smiled and gestured for her to sit.

"I'm sorry, Castle. I-" she began, stopped as he held up a hand.

"No drama here, girlfriend." He made an awkward snapping motion at her in an attempt at female solidarity, and she laughed, then shook her head ruefully, unable to decide if she felt comforted that she trusted him or terrified that she was starting to relax her control around him enough to laugh at his jokes.

"So..." She paused. Now that she was here, and still nervous, she didn't quite know how to start lambasting him with the disturbing, strange, and completely made up "facts" her and Lanie had spend half the night concocting.

"So," He made a show of rubbing his hands together. "Once upon a time there was a girl named Kate. She defended the weak and the helpless, kicked the asses of the asinine, and suffered one writer in particular daily in her working life. Although, really, she thought he was extremely debonair and charming." He gestured at her. "Now you go."

She frowned at him. "I think you may be confusing yourself with James Bond."

"Nah. He spies for a living; I live to spy. Stop stalling."

The nerves jumped back into her stomach. "I'm not stalling."

Castle grinned at her, predatory. "Wow. Kate Beckett: nervous. This is a site to behold."

She straightened. _That's it. _There was no way she was going to let him win this little game they were playing.

"Okay, Castle." She leaned back her in her chair. She smiled at him, catlike, and watched his eyes widen slightly.

"Do you want to know about the first time I saw another girl naked?" She watched him nod, like a marionette.

"Well, one day, my friend Stacey and I got caught out in a storm. We ran back to her place, raced into her bedroom, took off all our clothes, and then-"

"-What would you folks like to order this evening?"

Kate would have found the look on Castle's face pitiful, if it wasn't so hilarious.

He turned to the waiter, and sent him a look that had the poor man straightening his waistcoat.

"I would like the salmon, with your finest white wine please, and the lady would like the quail with the same. Now, _arrivederci_."

The waiter nodded. "Ah, may I suggest-"

Castle spoke through gritted teeth. "-Don't suggest. Do."

"Castle!" The waiter and Castle both turned to look at her.

She smiled charmingly at the waiter, noting the faint blush that coloured his cheeks as she did.

She rolled her eyes inwardly. _Jeez, the minute you start making doe eyes everyone's a fan._

"I'm sorry, my friend here is a little...hungry."

She glanced at Castle, saw him swallow convulsively, and proceeded to scan the menu ostentatiously.

"I believe the quail is too rich for my blood; how about we stick with birds of a feather I'm familiar with, and go with the chicken?"

The waiter laughed, and recommended some wines to go with the meal.

She smiled and flirted for a couple more minutes, until she judged Castle would be primed for an apoplectic fit.

"Well, thank you, Gerald, for your service this evening," she purred, and a very happy Gerald toddled off to give the kitchen their order.

"Now, where were we?" She asked Castle. He didn't answer, but the speculative look in his eyes put her on the alert.

He nodded, slowly, appearing to come to a decision.

"Well, Miss Kate," He smiled at her. The wolf one. "I believe you were in the middle of knocking my socks off."

She smiled back, saw him falter. _Ha. Take that._

"Well, Stacey and I took off all our clothes..."

Castle leaned forward, and she could feel the laughter bubbling up in the back of her throat. _Don't lose it. _

"...and then her Mom came in and made us take a bath. We were five." She added smugly as Castle glared at her.

"That wasn't funny."

"Yeah, it was."

"You just ruined a large part of my complex fantasy life involving you."

She shrugged. "Life's hard."

Castle leaned forward, and spoke as if letting her in on a secret. "You do realise you could be in for whole world of trouble tonight, _Miss_ Kate?"

She stared directly into his eyes, and raised a brow, watching his eyes light up. "Well, _Mister _Castle, I do believe trouble is my middle name."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: To be continued! Kate's Confessions, _part deux. Merci beaucoup_, for all reads and reviews. I don't like to use _ecstatic_ lightly, but there it is, all used and stuff :)


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I don't own now, nor will I ever. But will borrow, from time to time.

Kate Beckett was feeling increasingly concerned.

Plied with food, wine, and the company of someone who, while remaining officially a pain in the ass who followed her around like Mary's most aggravating lamb meanwhile was proving himself to be adept at dinner conversation.

"-And then, my friend Sam spent the entire evening chatting to an imaginary talking cricket. Moral of the story- never take hallucinogenic substances while watching _Pinocchio_."

She laughed. "Moral of the story; never take hallucinogenic substances with people who think _Pinocchio_ is the height of film. Did you learn your lesson, _Sam_?"

Castle winked at her, tapped his index finger on the side of his nose. "Names have been changed to protect the delusional."

She simply shook her head. When he didn't say anything further but raised a brow expectantly at her, she remembered with a jolt she wasn't supposed to be _enjoying _herself.

_Jesus, Kate, are you going to swoon, next?_

She pushed her wine away and set her jaw. "So, I owe you some background trivia."

He made a tutting sound. "Ah, grasshopper. Trivia is never so trivial as some might think. It's like panning for gold; sometimes you find something shiny."

She rolled her eyes. "All right, Mister Miyagi, you want to hear some stuff?"

Castle spread his palms in a _go for it_ gesture. "Please, stuff away."

She took a deep breath, ignoring the fact he was watching her with his writer's eyes- still and fathomless, but alert to every change, every nuance.

"I collect lucky pennies. I hate jack o lanterns. I tried, and failed win a belly dancing contest when I was sixteen. I love riding horses, although I never have the time to go. I can't stand waiting in lines. I once cheated on a maths test and then confessed ten minutes after it finished. I don't understand people who have fruit salad with their ice cream."

Castle blinked. "What-"

"I'm a natural brunette. I once flashed the entire under-sixteen football team on a dare. I tried smoking once because I saw Rizzo do it on _Grease_, but hated it. I can wake up at whatever time I tell myself to. I have a black belt in tai kwan do. I'm scared of cockroaches. I love sunflowers."

She looked at him, feeling strangely off balance. "Was this what you wanted, Castle? You want to know me?"

Castle frowned. "Kate-"

"-I have the entire set of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ on DVD. I can't sleep, some nights, so I read case files. I work, and I work, and then when I'm not working I'm trying to convince people that they don't need to pull me to pieces to read my insides."

She looked at him, feeling weirdly sad and oddly defiant and not entirely sure what the plan had been, coming here tonight.

Castle looked at her with dawning comprehension, and snapped his fingers at her.

"You're fast forwarding on me. I knew it- I won myself ten bucks tonight."

She tensed. "What?"

"You're trying to give me all the surface stuff, in half the time. _Kate likes bunnies_. _Kate likes ice cream soda_. You're trying to stop me digging." He shook his head at her.

"And, by the way, half of that was like, _completely_ made up. _I_ can write you better than you write you."

She hunched her shoulders, wondering why she suddenly felt like a sullen teenager. "So?"

"So, I like surface, Kate, but sometimes you just want to...burrow, a little."

She glared at him. "I don't want you to burrow."

"Kate, we're friends."

She shook her head. "We're not friends."

He sighed. "What have we done for the last hour and a half?"

"We ate food with weird names and wine I can't pronounce."

"And?"

"We talked. And..." She shook her head, again. "That doesn't make us friends."

"We went to the mimes the other day. We have extracurricular activities. Together. At the same time. We play poker!"

Castle looked oddly... aggrieved. She watched him, speculatively. "We're friends."

He nodded triumphantly. "Yes."

She nodded back. "Good. Then as my _friend_ I want you to stop burrowing."

Castle shook his head sadly. "Can't do it. But we're not going to span your psyche tonight. It's a process."

She blinked. "What?"

"You don't eat the whole thing in one go, Kate. You savour the elephant."

She blinked again. "Savour the elephant."

He toasted her. "Yeah, you get it."

She frowned at him. "No, I really, really don't."

He shifted closer, and she felt those warning tingles she got when she'd lowered her guard too far for her to ignore whatever he had planned for her.

"I want to get under your skin, Kate. But I want to do it so slowly and so...thoroughly, we'll both be nuts before I'm though with you. I want to figure you out and I don't want you to be able to catch your breath while I'm doing it."

He tilted his head, and she saw him note the flush on her cheeks, the catch in her breathing.

"Oh, and I want one other thing."

"What-" She swallowed. Hard. "What's that, Castle?"

"I don't want you to want to catch your breath. Lose a little control, Detective..." He grinned at her, slowly leant forward, and much as she didn't want it to, her heart skipped a beat.

"...You might like it."

_Ohgodohgod._ Her pulse hammered, and she was sure he must be able to hear her heart beating double time, it sounded so loud in her ears.

He was reading her, and all of a sudden she knew what it was she felt playing along the edge of her skin when he looked at her the way her was looking at her now.

Terror.

She abruptly stood up. "Um, Castle, I don't want to play anymore."

He grabbed her arm. "Stay, Kate."

She froze, caught by the look in his eyes.

"Stay." He repeated, changing his grip on her arm so his hand circled her wrist, his thumb over her pulse point.

"You look at me like you want to eat me alive." She muttered, hastily focusing her gaze on the remains of their dinner when his eyes crinkled at the edges.

"Sorry, I already had Clarice for lunch."

She looked up at him again. "I handed you that one, didn't I?"

'Pretty much," He agreed. He tugged on her wrist, gently. "Stay."

She sat, avoiding his gaze, straightening her cutlery meticulously. Searching for a way to steady herself, to feel like she could go toe to toe with him again without feeling like try as she might to hide, he already knew how to catch her, every time.

Castle eyed her, cleared his throat.

"So, is stabbing me with that fork part of this evening's programme at all?"

She broke into laughter, and finally looked at him.

"How about you tell me one true thing, of my choosing, and I'll drop this whole _find_ _Kate' layers _thing?"

She studied him. "One true thing?"

"One true thing."

"And you'll be satisfied with one true thing?"

He shrugged. "No, but I'm working on the assumption I'll be able to weasel information out of you when you don't know I'm doing it."

She raised a brow, suddenly feeling steady. "Cocky."

"Cocky is my middle name. Actually, it's Reginald, but don't for god's sake go spreading _that_ around."

She nodded, suppressing a smirk. "Okay."

He studied her, and she felt the weight of his writer's eyes again. "Why don't you date as much as you tell me you do?"

She hesitated, then took the step.

"Because I don't want the rigmarole. I don't want to test and evaluate and reconsider and second guess and have my heart break, again, because I haven't done one of those things thoroughly enough. I want to wake up in the middle of a relationship and_ be_ _happy_."

She pulled her hands into her lap, and risked a glance at Castle.

Castle was looking very studiously at his glass, and she stopped twisting her hands, relieved he'd obviously decided to let her little confession go.

Then he met her gaze, and that indefinable, indescribable _something_ flashed and flared between them.

_Obviously, Kate, you're delusional if you think he's going to let that one go,_ the little voice in her head mocked her, as she pulled in a breath, suddenly feeling like the air in the room was too thin.

"I dislike tomatoes. Are they a fruit, are they a vegetable? They don't have any purpose, and it makes me so frustrated I can't eat them. I hate the colour persimmon. I used to be a fat kid, so I very much enjoy refusing all invitations to high school reunions. I like women; I used to like attachments of a kind where I didn't have to care too deeply, and just write- with the sole exception of the attachments to my family. I like to think that's changing."

He shrugged, and she noticed with bewilderment he looked nervous.

"I love watching people- their patterns, their quirks. The way they can surprise you. I have a medallion from summer camp when I was seven that says "Best Trier." It's...spectacular, working with you."

Kate stared at him, completely nonplussed.

"So. That's surface me." He stuck out his hand. "Hey."

She shook it. "Hey."

He smiled at her. "Next time I interrogate you, do you want to go to Kentucky Fried?"

She glared at him. "This was not an interrogation."

He nodded, solemnly. "Whatever you have to tell yourself to make it through the day."

She pinned a stare on him. "Draw, or you stay in the car permanently."

Castle straightened. "Okay, okay, let's not be hasty. A draw it is...until next time."

Kate managed a cocky smile. "Until next time, Castle."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Am having so much fun writing this! Thanks, again and again, for all your read and reviews. Thanks to **Beckett NYPD**, who mentioned Kate potentially riding a motorcycle this season- will try to incorporate; I love it! Have a fabulous week, guys and gals.


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I don't own. Could maybe do so if selling price was the five bucks and three random buttons that materialised out of the washing machine today.

Kate Beckett shoved her hair out of her eyes and honked the horn for the twelfth time in ten minutes, her fatigue headache growing in proportion to the length of time spent waiting for Castle in her standard issue police car.

_Jesus, is he chatting up the entire contingent of Sal's Strip Bar? I only sent him in to talk to one_!

She was contemplating leaving him to his heavily perfumed, no doubt blonde and ineffectively clothed fate when Castle swung the passenger door open and all but bounced in.

"Now _that_, was an educational experience."

She gritted her teeth. She wouldn't. Wouldn't.

"What, on how to keep the blood flowing in two places at once?" She enquired sweetly.

_Okay, uncalled for, but at least I feel marginally better._

Castle cocked his head at her. "Problem?"

She started the car. "No problem, Castle. I can wait here all day as your taxi service. It's not like I have a murder to solve or anything." She slashed a glance at him before pulling out. "Take your goddamned time. Me, I'm just chilling."

His brows shot up. "Wow, sarcasm. Are you trying something new?"

She focused on the road. "Shut up, Castle."

"Okay, but riddle me this; what has very pretty brown eyes and a gun, and is currently jealous of the fact her partner has just spent half an hour with some very pretty strippers?"

She spoke without thinking. "You're not my partner."

"Oh, so you admit you're jealous?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of who, Chastity the stripper?"

"Okay, first of all her name was Stacey, and second of all, you've been off all day, _partner_. What's wrong with you?"

Kate felt him watching her, and decided silence was probably the best policy.

Castle tutted. "You know if you give me the silent treatment I'm going to find a way to make you talk; you may as well give it up now."

_That's it._ She rounded on him, her head pounding with each word. "I am not your problem to solve, okay? You are not here to figure me out, you are here to consult. Now, if we've finished with strippers and side-trips into my psyche, can we get back to the case?" She paused. "And you are _not _my partner."

She willed herself to stop imagining the hurt on his face the entire silent ride back to Central.

They went separate ways at the station. Castle, she suspected, went to lick his wounds with Esposito and Ryan.

Trying not to care that he hadn't pushed her, that he'd given her space instead of getting right back in her face like he normally would, she went to her murder board, to pace and to trace and retrace the suspects' paths, trying to trip them up.

It wasn't until office lights flicked off and she became aware of her growling stomach, a fierce need for coffee and an even fiercer need just to _stop _that she realised that the day had turned into night, and she still hadn't gotten any further than she had that morning. She looked at her watch. _Shit._

"72 hours."

She looked over to Castle, who sat at a desk, watching her.

Somehow not surprised to see him, she cocked her head. "What?"

"72 hours. That's how long you've been up. You need to sleep. Come back in the morning."

She shook her head. "I can do a couple more hours. I just need to refuel."

_I can solve this. I need to solve this._

"You'll get this one, Kate. But you're not going to do it by dragging yourself after the murderer. You have to go home. You need to slow down for a while."

She laughed, stifling a yawn. "I never slow down."

He didn't smile. "My point exactly."

She sighed. "I'm not doing this now, Castle. I have a dead girl in the morgue I have to find answers for; I'm going a while longer, here."

She moved back to the board, then stopped, surprised and angry when he moved to block her.

"It's not up for discussion, Castle."

"It's never up for discussion Kate. That's why we're not talking; I'm taking you home, and you're going to let me, and tomorrow you're going to tell me what's been up your butt all day."

She stared at him. "No."

Castle stared back. "Yes. I will call Ryan and Esposito if I have to. And Lanie. And the Mayor."

She raised her chin. "The Mayor? Want to throw in the coast guard too, Castle?"

He simply looked at her. "If I have to. Are you walking, or do I have to carry you?"

She looked at him, assessing whether he really was planning on dragging her out of the station. She caught the look on his face when he realised what she was doing and decided her best option was to give in, in a dignified manner.

"Castle, if you try to carry me out of here I will break both your legs and call it a mob hit."

_Screw dignity._

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Drama, Drama. Maybe Kate's more vulnerable than she thinks she is when she's half awake...


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Want to, but sadly balance of account has gone to the power bill this week-damn those toaster ovens and electric blankets.

Kate Beckett, more than anything, hated being treated like a child. Mostly, this wasn't an issue she had to deal with very often, because most people took one look at her face and decided to alter their modus operandi, stat.

Castle, unfortunately, didn't fall into the Most People category.

"You've been pushing way too hard on this thing, Kate. You've got to be able to take a breath occasionally."

Kate gritted her teeth. "I am breathing, Castle. Although for you that option is rapidly becoming unavailable."

He glanced at her, back to the road. "And, you're cranky. This does not lend itself well to a Detective-Writer relationship."

She snorted, trying to ignore the dull thumping in her head. "Well, considering we don't actually have a Detective-Writer _relationship_, your complaint is officially duly noted and ignored."

"Ow."

She rolled her eyes, and turned to stare out the window.

"You're angry at me for dragging you away from the case."

She spoke to the window. "I'm not angry, Castle."

It was his to turn to laugh. "Really? Because you're giving an excellent performance of Mary Sunshine over there."

She blinked in disbelief, anger spiking through her and making her head start to pound harder. _He really just said that, didn't he?_

"Oh, I'm sorry, Castle. Are you feeling neglected? Did you want me to hang on your every word, be on my very best behaviour twenty-four/ seven? I'm really devastated that my dead victim has to take precedence over your-your-"

She hesitated, biting the words back.

Castle looked over at her, anger beginning to glint in his eyes. "What? My what?"

She glared at him. "Ego stroking!"

He laughed, too loudly. "Oh my god, that's what you think this about? Poor Castle is so needy he needs to be first in the queue all the time? I can't believe you have that low an opinion of me-"

She bit her lip. "Castle-"

"-All I want is for you to _be honest_ with me for once. I don't care if you feel like crap, but don't sit there, and look me in the eye, and tell me you're five by five, because you're not, and I can see it, and you do this _relationship _we have a disservice by not allowing me to be there for you!"

She fisted her hands in her lap. "Castle-"

He thumped his hands against the wheel. "-God, you are the most frustrating women I have ever met."

She flared. "You want me to tell you what I'm thinking? Even if it hurts you?"

"I want you to be honest. I-"

"-I don't think this is appropriate. You, taking me home."

Castle stopped speaking.

She took a careful breath. "Castle-"

"Don't." One word, pushed at her.

"Okay." She said it quietly, staring sightlessly ahead of her.

Neither of them spoke until Castle pulled up outside her apartment.

He turned off the car, and then sat looking out the windshield.

She watched him for a moment, then nodded. _Fine._

"Thank you for the ride."

He didn't say anything as she got out of the car, but as she walked towards her apartment building she heard his door slam.

"Why is it such a big deal that I took care of you?"

She turned around to find him leaning against the passenger door, and she would have felt frustrated that he was looking at her like she had the answers to everything, except he also had another expression on his face as he looked at her.

_He's upset. _She sighed._ Damn it._

She took a couple of steps back towards him, wrapping her coat tighter around herself.

"I can't let anyone take care of me."

He spread his hands, frustrated. "Why the hell not?"

"If I let someone in, let them be there for me, I'll get used to it."

Castle frowned. "And that's a bad thing because you're phobic about back rubs and extra cups of coffee?"

The corner of her mouth quirked before she could stop it. "I'll get used to it, Castle. And then, when that someone I've let in leaves, then I'll have to get used to being alone all over again. I told you- I'm a one-and-done kind of girl."

Castle nodded. "Huh."

She raised her brows. "Was that a, huh, I've achieved enlightenment and Kate can go to sleep now, or a huh, I'm still angry?"

He raised his brows back. "That was a huh, Kate cares if I'm angry?"

She shook her head, watching him. "I care if you're angry, Castle. And I'm sorry I've been...off. These cases hit me in the solar plexus sometimes, and sometimes I forget to let people know I've taken a punch."

She stepped closer, offered her hand. "No hard feelings?"

He looked at her outstretched hand, looked at her.

"Seriously? A handshake?"

She gritted her teeth. "Seriously."

He tutted at her, shaking his head. "I can see I'm going to have to teach you how this is done. Put your hands in the air."

She blinked. "What?"

He gave her a _hurry up_ gesture. "Let's go, time's a wasting. Put your hands in the air."

Mystified, she slowly raised her hands.

Castle pushed off from the passenger door and stepped toward her, holding her gaze.

"Now," He murmured, "No sudden movements."

Her stomach tightened. "Uh, Castle-"

"Shh." He stepped forward, past her outstretched hands, and folded her into a hug.

_God, he's warm, _was all she could think as, caught off guard, she placed her hands around his waist.

Castle spoke into her ear. "Now, I'm not going to stop trying to take care of you."

She tensed in his arms, and he stepped back, grinning at her.

_Oooh._

"Castle-"

"-But you're welcome to try and stop me. Go to sleep, Detective."

"I-you-" She gave up. "Goodnight, Castle."

It crossed her mind as she headed into her building that she was running out of ideas to stop him jumping the fence and right over her rules and boundaries. She was also finding they never seemed to be as high once he ran into one.

She sighed, then grinned at herself, at how weirdly pleased she was he'd hounded her, tonight. _Anyone would think you liked the man._

Author's note- Thank you so much for all the absolutely lovely read and reviews- I take note of everything sent though and I really appreciate your comments! Have a lovely week, all.


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: Deed of ownership, deed of ownership, where for art thou, deed of ownership?

_Two hours._ Kate Beckett paced furiously, eyeing the road for Castle's car.

_Two hours. How bad can it be?_

She'd wagered, against her better judgement and certainly the rational part of her mind that she'd be able to recite The Miranda rights backwards, in return for two hours of Castle not talking during a case or two hours of her time donated exclusively to Castle.

Granted, she'd done almost the whole damned thing when she'd gotten cocky, and smiling at Castle had uttered "The right have you," thereby blowing the whole wager and leaving her at Castle's mercy.

_Then_ the bastard had made her suffer for a week before announcing in front of Esposito and Ryan they'd be doing something that would make her thighs ache for days.

She'd just scraped her jaw off the ground and was in the middle of deciding whether to slap him or kick him so hard he'd be talking like Mickey Mouse for days when he'd smoothly and oh-so-smugly made some comment about the last time _he'd _been horseback riding he'd had the same affliction.

Now she was standing in front of some fancy stables in the middle of nowhere, while some freaking huge animals wandered around some field.

_There's no way out of this, Kate. You're screwed. _

She watched Castle's car turn up the drive, and sighed fatalistically.

_Make that officially screwed._

She eyed him as he got out of the car.

"What the hell are you wearing?"

He made her a bow. "Good Morning to you too, my little wager loser. I believe you've spotted my highly fashionable jodhpurs."

She raised a brow. "You look like you're about to break into 'Life is a Cabaret.'"

He tutted. "Such cynicism in one so young. Shall we?"

She looked at the horses, then back at him.

_Don't look terrified. Show no fear. They won't eat you...Probably._

"Do I have a choice?"

Castle gave her his wolf smile, and made an _after you_ gesture towards the stables. "Absolutely none."

She conjured up a weak smile in return. "Great."

He eyed her as they walked into the building. "You seem...trepidatious."

She shrugged. "I liked _Black Beauty_. But my copy never attempted to bite a chunk out of my leg."

Castle nodded thoughtfully. "Huh. You're scared."

"I'm not scared."

He nodded again, mock thoughtfully. "Oh, you prefer nervous?"

She glared at him. "I prefer cappuccino's at Gina's and the Sunday paper."

He blinked at her, all innocence. "Hey, you can't go blaming your total inability to remember stuff backwards on me."

They stopped at a stall, and Castle opened the door with a flourish.

"Kate, meet Thumper."

She stared up at a giant four legged monster with a mane and a tail. "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ."

Castle shook his head. "No, _Thumper._ Do you need me to write it down for you?"

She took a careful step away from immediate danger, then spun to face Castle.

"I'm not riding that."

Castle smirked at her. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the deal. No backsies. "

She shook her head. "Nuh-uh. That thing will stomp me to death if I look at it the wrong way."

Castle reached over and stroked the monster's nose. The monster tossed his head and Kate inched back another step. "Look, he's a total baby. Putty in your hands."

Kate nodded. "Nice try, Castle. It's been real." She spun around and strode towards the door.

"Oh, Detective Beckett..." Castle crooned behind her.

She felt her shoulders hunch automatically.

_Crap. Two more freaking steps._

She stopped, still facing the door. "What."

"You do realise if you don't do this I'm going to tell every single cop in that precinct you backed out on the time-honoured tradition of wagering on stupid stuff out of boredom. You'll go down in history as...A Welcher."

She turned, looked him in the eye. "You wouldn't dare."

He met her gaze straight on. "Oh, but I would. Come ride with me, Kate."

She glared at him, inwardly gulping.

_What did you do this weekend, Kate? Oh, you know. Little paperwork, a little cleaning. Rode some four legged hairy beast of the Apocalypse. Called Thumper._

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If someone made _me _ride a four-legged beast of the Apocalypse and I wasn't so inclined- I'd be searching desperately for a way to get a little of my own back...Also, I know it's weird with the horses- I promise you...it will only get weirder.

Thanks for all the WONDERFUL read and reviews- you all make my week- so please have a great week, too! XD


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: Sad but true; I only own them in my (highly detailed yet probably not conducive to the overall show arc) dreams.

Kate Beckett was having what some might call a Bad Day.

She'd lost a bet, ended up on a horse that looked like it could happily eat other horses for breakfast, and was now currently trotting semi-terrified beside a clearly insane man perched on a horse called-

"You can't be serious."

Castle looked offended. "What's wrong with Bambi? It's a _theme._"

She threw up a hand, very carefully keeping the other on the reins, lest Thumper get it into his head to try to make a break for it. "These are _horses_."

"You've never done a thing clearly because it had to be done, have you?"

She blinked. "What?"

He flapped a hand. "Never mind. You know, Thumper is not going to try to kill you."

She glanced at Castle, then down at the horse she was currently balanced precariously on top of.

"You can't be serious."

"What is it with you and horses?"

"There's nothing with me and horses." She shrugged, stared too hard at the light filtering through the trees on the track they'd been riding the last hour.

"You called Thumper a monster. You hurt his feelings."

"I'm sure Thumper can take care of himself."

Castle nodded. "Mmm. He's the Detective Beckett of the equine world."

She glanced up, startled, to see him smiling at her.

_Okay, Kate, the man did coach you through two panic attacks before mounting and promised to take the fact you freaked out when Thumper tried to eat your Twinkie to the grave. Be nice._

"I just...I get humans. I get motive and instinct and hell, I even get murder. I'm not comfortable with things I don't get."

Castle laughed. "Oh, you're not _comfortable_ with things you can't put in a box marked Exhibit A."

Her jaw dropped. "I'm not _comfortable,_ Castle, with smug bastards who think they can see into my soul by getting me to commune with the countryside for a couple of hours."

The smug bastard in question shook his head. Smugly. "You don't mean that."

In her agitation she nudged Thumper to go faster, barely noticing when he picked up his pace instantly. "Why would I bring it up if I didn't mean it?"

Castle spurred Bambi to catch up. "To deflect."

She stayed mulish. "I'm not deflecting, Castle."

"Yes, you are."

She eyed him, exasperated. She'd forgotten the golden rule with Castle- when she dug her heels in, in the face of his words, he generally dragged her over them anyway.

"Fine. Obviously, I'm harbouring some deep-seated need to throw myself onto giant land mammals and have extended moments of enlightenment."

Castle stared at her, then started to laugh.

She reluctantly broke into a grin as she watched him double over, and just managed to stop her lips twitching as he straightened in his saddle, Bambi still moving apace with Thumper.

"Do you want to know what I think?"

She shrugged. "No."

He smiled at her, then turned his attention to a fleck of dirt on his jodhpurs. "Good. I think you have a deep-seated need to run away, sometimes. Get the hell out of dodge, go somewhere you can breathe without waiting for that phone to ring."

Castle looked up, caught her gaze. She glanced quickly away, concentrating on the foliage and refusing to think about his perception of things she didn't even admit to herself.

"You are..._so_ not going to beat me up this hill!"

She spurred Thumper, not quite knowing how the gamble was going to play given the horse might be harbouring residual resentment from The Twinkie Incident.

Thumper, thankfully, moved fluidly underneath her, and all she heard was Castle's outraged shout and then nothing but cantering hoof beats and the delighted sound of her own laughter.

They reached the top of the hill first and she manoeuvred Thumper to watch Castle and Bambi trotting up behind them.

"See, this here, Thumper," she remarked conversationally to the horse, "Is what's commonly known as a one horse race."

She smirked at Castle, exhilaration and adrenaline coursing through her veins, barely stopped a full grin breaking out.

He just watched her, bringing Bambi to a halt beside her.

She reached up to smooth her hair. "What?"

He watched her with his writer face. "You don't laugh like that in the office."

She shrugged. "I laugh."

He shook his head. "Not like that. Not like you're... free."

She moved her shoulders again, uncomfortable. "I'm free."

"Not like this, you're not."

She felt her stomach tighten, and reading her face, he mimicked her shrug. "You should come out here more often, that's all. Alexis and I come here when we want to escape the world a smidgen. You're welcome anytime, you know."

She gulped, a thought occurring to her. "Don't tell me you _own_ this place?"

Castle laughed. "Just Thumper and Bambi, here...and this hill. The trees. The uh, stables. Wow."

He shook his head, mock surprised. "Guess I own the whole damn thing, huh?"

She just shook her head. "Of course you do." She perked up, as another thought occurred to her.

"You own the place, and I still beat you up the hill."

She smiled at him, brightly. "This was a great idea, Castle. We should ride horses every day."

He mock glared at her. "Cheat."

She didn't bat an eye. 'Blackmailer."

He cocked his head, watching her. "Snark."

"Snipe."

"Nag."

Her jaw dropped at this, then she leant forward in the saddle. "Mummy's boy."

He shifted on Bambi, bringing the horse closer to Thumper, leant over to tug her hair lightly. 'Below the belt, Detective."

She caught his hand, grinning. "Oh, too close for comfort, Castle?"

He captured her hand in both of his, smoothing her hand out so it lay palm up, watching her for her reaction.

She frowned, tried to tug her hand back, clearing her throat when his grip tightened.

"Um, Castle-"

"Shh. I'm reading your future, ready?"

She rolled her eyes, then bit her lip when he began to trace random patterns over her palm, still keeping his eyes on hers.

"In the distant future you will have many, many children-one child," he corrected quickly at the look on her face, "in the near future you will, against medical advice and the laws of common sense imbibe a highly inappropriate amount of station coffee...and now," Castle leant forward slowly, his eyes intent on hers, and she barely noticed he was winding her hands tight on the reins...

"...You'll have the ride of your life."

She blinked, tried to get words to form. "What?"

Then she was holding on, praying to whoever thought it might be a good idea for her to live long enough to forcibly remove Castle's head from his body, as Thumper cantered _back_ down the hill, due to Castle's well placed slap.

_Okay. I'm definitely firing him this time._

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Have been having weird writer cravings and so kind of want to try a 'trapped in a basement/elevator...cave' one next. Maybe? Thanks a million for the most wonderful read and reviews- at the risk of sounding terribly cliché and/or like a bad karaoke singer- yoooou, light up my life...XD


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: Don't own. But will write them, a little.

Kate trailed behind Castle as he strode into the elevator.

"Tell me again why I _have _to talk to this lady? This is cruel and unusual punishment, Castle."

Castle pushed the button for the tenth floor. "She's integral to your investigation, Detective. Plus, her tattoos are like, freaking awesome."

She sighed, and looked at the ceiling. "What, did I aggravate You, somehow?"

Castle leaned over, whispered in her ear. "Who are you talking to?"

She kept looking at the ceiling. "God. I figure He has a problem with me since he sent you to pound on my door at 5 a.m. and drag me out of bed. Without coffee."

"So you'd prefer to be dragged into bed, with coffee?"

She glanced over, opened her mouth to lambast him.

The elevator shuddered, then stopped.

The lights flickered, went out.

Castle was the one to say it. "Oh, you totally just pissed off The Almighty."

The lights flickered back on, and she threw him a glare before jabbing at the tenth floor button.

The elevator didn't move.

"It's stuck. Of course it is." She pressed the emergency button.

"Um. What do you mean, stuck?"

"Stuck, Castle. Not moving, no caffeine for the foreseeable future, no freaking _vamanos."_

She jabbed the button again, then rolled her eyes as the speaker next to it thanked her for her patience and told her there would be a five minute wait for her request.

"What if I was trapped in here with a psycho killer, huh?" She asked it, then turned to look at Castle, expecting to have to fake a yawn at some smart ass remark.

Castle looked...worried? As she was processing the implications of that, he shook his head, as if he was clearing it.

"But, we have a case!"

She smirked. "Yeah, too bad the cosmic balancers of the universe decided to crap on us today."

"That was vulgar."

She stared at him. "Castle, I'm about sixty four minutes overdue for a caffeine hit. Trust me, you haven't seen vulgar yet."

He took a deep breath. "Goody."

She crossed her arms. "Do you have your cell?"

She watched, frowning, as Castle searched his pockets, a little too desperately for her liking. He glanced up, caught her stare, and shrugged sheepishly. "No cell."

She nodded, mostly fatalistically. "Of course it is. And mine's in the car, where I left it after you dragged me out of it."

"I didn't drag you." Castle snapped. She raised both her brows as he jabbed the emergency button again, exhaling loudly as he got the same message she had. "Damn it!"

She eyed him- "Castle-"

"Good morning, what is your emergency-"

Castle jumped in as she began to speak. "We're stuck in an elevator. And how long does it take to pick up the phone- I could be in here with a psycho-killer!"

"Castle," she snapped, and he subsided, looking mutinous. "This is Detective Kate Beckett- I'm stuck in an elevator with my partner-"

She determined a technician would be out within half an hour, finished the conversation, then turned to look at Castle.

He was dead white, and staring at one of the walls, breathing shallowly, and looking so un-Castle like her pulse ratcheted up a notch.

"Castle! What is it?"

He caught the edge of panic in her voice and blinked, coming out of his trance and attempting to smile at her.

"Nothing, no probs here. Uh, when did they say they'd be here?"

She frowned. Hadn't he been listening? "Half hour."

He nodded. "Kay."

"Castle?" She made his name a query for information, watched his face.

His eyes skittered away, to roam along the top of the elevator doors. "Um. Yeah?"

She touched his arm gently, and his eyes jumped back to hers. "Tell me."

He blew out a breath, and lifted her hand from his arm, squeezing her fingers before going to sit in the corner of the elevator.

She waited, arms crossed, looking down at him.

He seemed to wrestle with himself for a minute, came to a conclusion. "I may be somewhat...claustrophobic."

She suppressed a smile as she came to sit beside him. "No kidding."

"Yeah."

"You...want to tell me about it?"

Castle shook his head. "Oh- god no."

She huffed, a little insulted, then noticed he was getting that blank look again. "That's so not fair-I tell you all my secrets."

Castle took another deep breath, seemed to come back to himself.

"You tell me nothing I don't wrestle with you for days, weeks and months for. Nice try, Becks."

She screwed up her face at him. "I told you I can't sleep."

He took her hand, and held on to it, tight. She let him keep it. "You also told me you love riding horses."

"That may have been an embellishment of the truth."

He cocked his head looked at her, genuinely interested. "What's the truth?"

She smiled at him. "I like the wind in my hair, speed. I like driving, to go so fast and so far you leave your thoughts behind you. With horses your thoughts are more likely to be right there with you, and along the lines of 'I wonder when I'm going to die?'"

Castle laughed. She watched as his eyes left her face, and roamed the elevator.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a problem?" She asked quietly.

He grimaced. "I'm never in an enclosed space long enough for it to be a problem. It's not so much the space; it's that there's no way out." He laughed, self-mockingly. "I'm a writer- I can't stand the fact there's no escape, no exit. Nothing that will allow me to twist the plot so I'm not trapped."

She nodded, thoughtfully. "Wow. That's got to be the worst piece of bullshit you've ever presented to me."

Castle laughed again. "Well, obviously I'm not at my best." He closed his eyes, gripped her hand tighter. "Kate? Will you do me a favour?"

She covered his hand with her free one.

"Sure."

"When I die, if they make a movie of my life, can you make sure they cast George Clooney?"

She rolled her eyes, then narrowed them, watching him. "That's not the favour."

"Ms Detective," He muttered, then sighed, opening his eyes.

"Okay, I feel really, really unmanly right now, and I swear to you if and when we get out of here I'm going straight home to barbeque things and watch sports in my underwear, but for the purposes of our location, could you, please-" He hesitated.

"Castle? Hell could freeze over, waiting for you to ask."

He glared at her. "I could really use a hug right now, is all. But since you have to go and be all _mean-_"

He broke off as she shifted to lean against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. His arm slid around her shoulders and gripped, tight.

She snuck a glance up at him, to see him looking down at her wearing an expression she wasn't familiar with but none the less made her suck in a quick breath.

"Castle..."

"Yup."

"If you mention this at work, this is nothing compared to what I will do to you."

He smiled at her. "Thank you, Detective Beckett."

She smiled, hugged him a little tighter. "You're welcome."

He took one of her hands again, turned it.

"So small." He caressed her knuckles with his thumb, and she found herself sucking in air again.

"Um, Castle..."

"Relax, Beckett, it's far too cliché to hook up in an elevator, don't you think?"

Her face flamed. "Hey- I wasn't- I didn't-"

His arm tightened so she couldn't pull away, could only stare up into eyes suddenly far too close to hers.

"Nope," He murmured, "actually, I was wondering..."

She struggled to keep her breathing even, keep meeting his gaze, as he continued to stroke her hand.

"...If we shoved one of your hands into that gearbox over there, do you think you could fix anything?"

She stared at him. He smiled hopefully at her, and for the life of her she couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry.

Half an hour later, Castle practically ran over the elevator repair guys in his bid for freedom.

"Thank you, Jesus!"

He turned to her, from his position on the floor where he'd been engaged in kissing the ground. "You have to thank Jesus, too- you're the one that made Him trap us in there."

He jaw dropped. "Oh, this is my fault? _You're_ the one that couldn't wait to show me some lady's _tattoos _at some ungodly hour of the morning. And, I'm still uncaffeinated."

He got up and bounced merrily over to her. "Let's go see Tattoo Lady, and then I'll buy you coffee. And I'll get a vodka rocks."

She smirked, then stilled as they turned back to the elevator.

She looked at the elevator, then at Castle, to find him already watching her.

"Stairs." They said in unison.

Castle cleared his throat as they moved towards the stairwell.

"So. You have a horse thing, I have an elevator thing. We've showed each other our scars. We're _evolving_."

She frowned. "I don't have a horse thing."

"Yes you do."

"No. Don't know what you're talking about."

He brightened, his eyes laughing at her as he ushered her through the door to the stairs. "Great! Then you won't mind coming riding with Alexis and I next weekend."

She stared at him. He raised a brow.

She threw up her hands, moving past him to stomp up the stairs. "Fine! Fine, I have a horse thing, are you happy?"

Castle smiled. "Ecstatic."

She glared around at him. "Next time we're trapped in an elevator, I'm going to do my best to convince you we're going to die."

He just slung a friendly arm around her shoulders as they climbed. "Dying in an elevator- so cliché. But your annoyance is duly noted and ignored."

Her lips twitched, and she punched him lightly in the side. "Alright, next time we're stuck in an elevator, I'm not sharing my Twinkie."

Castle tugged on her hair, and she slapped his hand away.

"Ah, Beckett. Now _that_ is cruel and unusual punishment."

Author's Note: Thanks for the freaking awesome reviews- you're so lovely. Have a great week, all...hope you like this one XD.


	12. Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: If I owned them, I'd have to be sensible and draw out the romantic tension...;)

Kate Beckett was in the middle of her usual late night-long case forage for a quick meal when a knock sounded at the door.

She sighed. _Three guesses._

She opened the door to see Castle, holding out a bottle of lemonade. "Yahtzee."

He handed her the bottle, easing around her into her apartment as he did so. "I'll see your Yahtzee and raise you a snap." He drew out the 's', curling his lip in a truly appalling Elvis imitation.

She raised a brow at him, suppressing a laugh, and closed her door. "Go fish."

He pretended to think, then held up his hands in surrender. "Too rich for my blood. I fold." He followed her into her kitchen. "I only had a get out of jail free and an uno left."

She nodded, trying to discreetly drop a tea towel over her popcorn dinner while pretending to inspect the lemonade. _I'll take inane conversation for two hundred._ She mentally shrugged. _A least he's a distraction from paperwork. _

"Too bad." She hefted the lemonade. "Why are you bringing me carbonated sugar?"

He took his lemonade back, went rummaging through her cupboards to pull out a couple of glasses.

"Besides bringing you the lemonade you _said_ you were craving and staring in abject horror at your poor choice in after-case consumption?"

She glanced at the bag of popcorn he indicated, managed not to cringe. _Do not feel embarrassed. Popcorn is a perfectly healthy...lazy person's dinner._

She raised her chin at him as he handed her a glass. "Besides that, yeah."

"I came over to seduce you."

She choked on her drink.

He flapped a hand at her. "Don't worry, I'm not going to do it right _now. _Jeez."

She stared at him, wiping her mouth. "Are you on drugs?"

He stared back solemnly. "I am only high on love."

"Oh, Jesus. You took something, didn't you?"

He eyed her, clearly exasperated. "I come over, share my feelings, and you tell me I'm a crack head. Thank you for your vote of confidence."

"I didn't call you-"

"-Shh." He held a finger to his lips, and she glared at him.

"Don't shush me."

He glared back. "You know, this isn't going at all how I imagined it."

She glanced down at herself, playing along. "Yeah, for starters, I'm wearing clothes."

Castle smirked at her. "No, you were wearing clothes when I imagined this. But they were made out of cows."

"Ew."

"I meant leather."

"Yeah, I know. Still ew."

He nodded, then glancing at her, quickly put his glass down and very deliberately walked out of her kitchen.

She trailed him, her thoughts whirling. "Castle? Seriously, if I have to Twelve-Step you I'm going to be pissed."

She watched him assess her living room. "No, I only two-step," he murmured as he picked up a cushion, threw it across the room.

She gave him her patented "Spill it or I'll shoot you" look.

He just nodded at her again, looking thoughtful. He picked up a small statue, moved it to a different shelf on her bookcase.

"Castle..." she said warningly.

He glanced at her, then proceeded to haul her couch across the room.

"Okay, that's it." She strode over to him, shoved his hands off her couch. "Stop touching my things or I will ensure the brain damage you're suffering is permanent."

He smiled at her. "Okay."

He sat down on the coach as she stared at him. "That's it? Okay?"

"The phrase "what the hell" just doesn't cover it, right?" He agreed happily, looking at her like they were in cahoots on some grand joke.

"Castle," she spoke slowly, enunciating each word. "If you do not tell me why you are systematically destroying my apartment I will be forced to call your Mother."

He lost the smile. "Oh. Okay, I probably haven't explained myself, right?"

She just looked at him, and he cringed a little, looking nervous suddenly.

"Right. So, I uh, figured something out today."

"How to demonstrate paranoid schizophrenia coherently?" She inquired, politely.

He glowered at her. "No. I figured, Detective Beckett, that if I can ruffle your feathers in your literal home, I must ruffle your feathers in your mental...home. Okay, that wasn't the best choice of phrasing."

She nodded. "Huh. You think?"

He frowned at her, then just as suddenly gave her a wolfish grin. "Yeah. I think. And, _I think_, this is where I start to seduce you."

She stilled, switched her gaze to look fixedly over his shoulder. "I think I should call you a cab, and you can leave."

She turned and with measured steps walked back into her kitchen, not wanting to give him any reason to pounce.

She picked up her phone from the counter. Kept her back to him, knowing instinctively he'd followed her.

She began to dial, then slammed it down. "Now, you decide to think, Castle? You just suddenly decide to make some kind of a play for me? How dare you?"

"How dare I think about you?" He spoke quietly, and she closed her eyes against the undercurrents she heard in his voice.

"How dare you just decide I can be _seduced_." She threw the word back at him, turned in time to catch his stricken look.

He shook his head. "How dare you think I would just _seduce_ you."

She said nothing, not wanting to betray her thoughts and the direction she was trying desperately not to let them head in.

He cocked his head at her, thoughtfully. "I wondered today if you ever thought of me. Like a guy."

She laughed a little desperately, trying to find her feet in this conversation that kept turning to quicksand on her. "I have noticed you're a guy, Castle. I mean, you scream like a girl, and you whine like one when I beat you at cards..." She trailed off, staring at him as she noticed how intently he was watching her.

"I mean, have you ever thought of me..." he advanced on her. Seeing her tense, he stopped by the counter, just close enough to have her balancing surreptitiously on the balls of her feet should she need to bolt. "...Like a _guy_."

She studied the air behind him. "No."

"Liar." He said, simply, taking a step closer. She took one back.

He stopped, watching her, then took a small step forward, raising a brow at her.

She raised her chin at him, standing her ground as he eased forward to stand in front of her.

"I think we've both had thoughts where one of us or both of us isn't behaving exactly...professionally."

"The only difference is one of us doesn't want to get her heart broken." She pointed out, easing away from the counter.

"That's not true. And you can point out all the differences between us that you want; but you want to know something crazy? We're both afraid. We're both afraid and you know what- I'm still here."

He stepped forward again, keeping his eyes on hers. "And so are you, Kate. I know you're not going to admit that without several mobsters and potentially some sort of tranquilizer, but you are."

She shook her head, took another step back. "I'm not."

Castle eased forward again, stepping right into her personal space.

She tried to step back. Hit the wall behind her.

"Then what are you doing still standing in front of me?" He asked, quietly.

She could only stare at him, her mind refusing to compute that this situation, this impossible situation she'd never let herself imagine was actually playing out.

_Pull it together, Kate._

"You think you're some kind of white knight, Castle? Going to rescue me?"

His lips curved, and she wished she hadn't said anything, because now she couldn't drag her eyes away from his mouth.

"No, I was actually planning on seducing you, remember? Rescuing is that Charming guy's gig."

She swallowed, trying frantically for words, any words, while her coherent thought process melted away. "I-"

"Shh."

Keeping his eyes on hers, he leant so that his mouth was inches from her own. She watched him, her pulse starting to hammer harder when he didn't move, just kept looking at her.

She saw a glint of humour swirl in his eyes, quickly replaced by something more serious.

"Remember this is real, Kate. No fiction in this story." He spoke against her lips, as his hands traced down her arms to her wrists.

She let him raise her arms so her hands were pinned, gently, against the wall. And still he didn't kiss her, just stood so damned close to her that she felt what was left of her mind unravel.

She couldn't stand this anymore, this _waiting_. The nearness of him was like an itch under her skin and she wanted to him to let her go, wanted him to stay, wanted him to- "Castle."

He drew back raised a brow at her, giving her a wicked smile. "Yes, Detective Beckett?"

His fingers started to trace random patterns along her wrists.

Her toes involuntarily curled in her socks and she could feel the heat rising along her neck. And still, _still_ he didn't move.

She bit her lip, saw his eyes dart down to her mouth. "Castle-"

Her cell rang.

His eyes met hers, and she held her breath. He was going to-

He let her go, stepped back, shaking his head. "It's the station. My pager's going off."

He left the room, leaving her staring after him, the phone ringing and her heart pounding and her body feeling like she had electrical currents humming under her skin, with one thought humming just as loud in her head.

_What the hell just happened?_

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I KNOW! But there's a reason for leaving them hanging, I promise. I think Castle needs to fight for her a little harder, don't you? I think, in my humble opinion Castle would want to prove he understands her need to work...but I also think Beckett wants to put down the burdens she carries now and then- lose a little control- right? Thanks for the MARVELLOUS and constructive read and reviews- I'm really glad you're liking this so far and appreciate any and all feedback.


	13. Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. I own nothing, and although this is slightly depressing we must soldier on somehow. Chocolate helps.

Kate Beckett crouched over the blond victim sprawled on the concrete in front of her, studying the butterfly patterns of bruising along the girl's neck.

"She was strangled?" Castle spoke from behind her, sounding tentative.

She exhaled slowly and spoke flatly, not moving from her position.

"Yes. That's not what killed her."

"What killed her?"

"The Chemist."

"Our pharmacists are killing people now?"

She threw him a slashing glance over her shoulder. "Serial killer. His MO is to make it look like different types of murder, when he's actually shot them full of an almost untraceable drug."

"How can you tell she was injected?"

She indicated the girl's left hand. "Needle mark on her ring finger."

"Ah. Jilted at the altar?"

She shrugged, not wanting to verify something she suspected but couldn't confirm. "His type is petite blondes- he's been hurt by someone, one way or the other."

"You sound like you feel sorry for him."

She stood up, faced him. "I know what it's like to be hurt."

He winced, and ignoring the tendrils of guilt starting to curl in her chest she fell back on her time honoured method of Not Dealing with the Problem.

_Sarcasm. Don't leave home without it._

"Except, Castle," she continued, "the difference is every time I get hurt _I _manage to curb my homicidal tendencies."

"For which we're all extremely grateful. And by _we_ I mean _me_."

She didn't reply. Sparing the vic behind her one last glance, she stalked past Castle to where Ryan and Esposito were trying and failing to look like they weren't eavesdropping.

"Okay, guys, it looks like The Chemist has struck again. I want you to dig out everything the database has on him; liaise with the lead on the murder prior to this one- see if they'll work with us on this." She paused. "We're not going to let him hurt anyone else."

She saw Ryan glance at Castle, then at Esposito.

She looked at her watch, pointedly. "I'm sorry gentlemen, was I using words you didn't understand?"

They scarpered.

She made a couple of calls to the ME, to a contact in the media, well aware Castle was watching her. She focused on writing notes on her pad, refused to glance up.

She finally clicked off, rubbed the back of her neck tiredly. Stopped and straightened her shoulders as she saw Castle unpeel himself from the cop he was pestering.

"You're mad at me."

_No prizes for stating the obvious, Castle._

She shook her head, looking past him. "We have a case."

He moved to block her path as she headed towards her car. "We always have a case, Beckett."

"We have nothing to talk about, Castle. We made a stupid mistake, that's all. It won't happen again." She pushed past him, ignoring the hurt on his face.

"A stupid mistake? _That's_ what you thought that was?" He called after her, raising his voice.

She spun around. "Not here," she hissed at him, giving him a _what the hell are you doing _look.

Castle glanced back towards the cops at the scene who were pricking their ears up. "I thought we _meant something_ to each other, Kate. I thought we had a team thing happening, a partnership. You know- you, me." He smirked at her. "And the baby."

Her jaw dropped, and before she could blink he'd strolled over to stand in front of her.

"Can you say _check, mate_, Detective?"

"Can you say broken jaw, Castle? Get in the car." She snapped, yanking out her keys, and throwing herself into the driver's seat.

Castle settled himself into the passenger side, and she really, really wanted to hit him for looking so unflustered when she felt like any second all of the thoughts in her head were going to overflow.

"What the hell was that?"

"Hey, I had to get you to talk to me somehow. And I will, so help me god, start bringing up your cravings for mustard covered Twinkies at 4 a.m. if you don't start talking, boots." He sat back in his seat, and gave her his _well go on then_ gesture.

She stared at him. "I'm fine."

He made a buzzing noise. "Wrong answer. One more and your grand prize will be a lifetime of me finding every modelling picture of you ever taken and posting it on my website." He raised a brow.

She swallowed. "How-how did you know about that?"

He waved an airy hand. "The things I know about you are many and varied, but include the very interesting notion that you are avoiding having this conversation because you're afraid I'm going to kiss you again."

She snorted. "Okay, a, I'm not afraid, and two, there is no _again_, you didn't even kiss me..." _Uh-oh._

He looked predatory all of a sudden. "Hmm. Perhaps I should rectify that."

_And have you bolt again? _"No, thanks."

He raised a brow, watching her. "I didn't note any complaints in your kitchen."

She felt her face heat. "Yeah, well. Times change."

"I think you're using anger to deflect what you really feel. And I will find out what you really feel sooner or later, Detective Beckett." He leant forward confidingly. "If I were you I'd tell me now."

She snorted again. "Well, considering there's literally nothing to tell, I guess you're out of luck, and out of time. We have a case to solve, and I'm not going-"

She broke off as he held up her keys. "You're _not going_ anywhere."

She blinked at him. "How did you-give me my keys, Castle." She held out her hand.

"No."

"Now."

"See, _no _generally means I'm not going to do what you say."

"As opposed to all the other times you do what I say?" She asked through gritted teeth.

He brightened. "Exactly!"

"Argh!" She let her head rest on the staring wheel, then turned to look at him.

"If I tell you why I'm angry, it never leaves this car, or the only travelling you will be doing is in a body bag. Do you understand me?"

He smiled at her. "Kay."

She sat back, closed her eyes. "You didn't even try to keep doing...what we doing in my kitchen. My cell rings, your pager goes, and you just can't wait to evacuate the building."

One beat. Two.

Castle started to laugh. She opened one eye and glared at him through it. He sobered, immediately.

"No, I didn't mean to laugh, I just- I thought you were pissed at me because I kissed you, not because we _stopped_ kissing."

She opened the other eye. "We didn't actually kiss, Castle."

_Sooner or later he's going to notice you're compelled to keep pointing that out._

He waved a hand. "Details. So you were in the moment. With me. And you wanted _all_ of _this_." He drew a circle in the air in front of his chest, looking so puffed up and proud she almost felt bad bursting his balloon.

Almost.

"I'm in the moment with you now Castle, and I'm currently fantasising about locking you in my trunk with a week's supply of unflavoured rice crackers and a Justin Bieber CD."

He stared at her, deflating. "That's just mean."

She shrugged.

"Would it help if I said I've had numerous kitchen fantasies involving you? One of them even included..." He raised a brow at her. "...Tongs."

She frowned at him. "I so desperately needed not to know that."

He held out her keys. She reached for them and he snagged her hand between both of his.

"Castle-"

"Shh. Let me just- Kate, I'm very sorry if you felt like I didn't- like I wasn't desperate to touch you." He watched her with his writer eyes and she fought to ignore the butterflies starting to circle in her stomach. "The way you looked...that was definitely better than anything I could write- but I know how much your work means to you. I'd never stand in the way of your calling. I hope you know that."

She shook her head, amused and strangely charmed despite herself. _Trust Castle to think about the wider meaning behind delaying a call out for a few minutes._

She placed her free hand on top of their joined ones.

"Castle...that was very sweet."

She saw him wince at the term and grinned inwardly.

"But," she continued, "I have a job- much as it is part of who I am- where I need to be in control, all the time. My head does an excellent job of reasoning with my heart." She cocked her head at him, watched his eyes drift down to her mouth. "You did a very good job of keeping us under control tonight...but there are times when I need to just...stop thinking."

"Uh. Huh. Like now?"

She smirked at him, held up the keys she'd swiped from his palm. "Better luck next time, Castle. Let's go."

He nodded thoughtfully, watching her. "Okay...but we're like, _good_, right?"

She arched a brow at him, started the car. "Only if you explain to the precinct you were on pain medication when you said I was having your child. Or you will actually be on pain medication."

He smiled at her. "Done. Oh, and Beckett?"

"Yeah, Castle?" She concentrated on the road, her mind already switching back to the case, mentally noting she'd have to buy pizza for Ryan and Esposito to make up for snapping at them.

"I hope you'll consider this formal notice that the kiss that didn't happen in your kitchen is going to happen, and when it happens; a, you're not going to see it coming, and two, that control you mentioned earlier? You're going to lose it."

She swallowed, vaguely irritated that her mouth was dry. "Duly noted and ignored, Castle."

He just nodded, smirking. "We'll see."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I really wanted them to kiss in this one to make up for leaving you hanging in the last chapter. But then I couldn't get my head around it, sorry-sorry-sorry! Will try to deliver for the next chapter, promise. Again, thanks for all the Absolutely Freaking Awesome reviews- I look at all of them and I swear I'm blushing for days after a chapter is posted- any and all feedback is gratefully received. Have a great week! XD


	14. Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: If I owned them, I'd still write fan fic...

Kate Beckett was systematically ignoring the thumping on her door. Previous to this, she'd ignored twelve text messages, eight phone calls, three emails, and in the immediate past, a business card shoved under her door. Now Castle had resorted to alternately thumping her apartment door and threatening to sick Ryan and Esposito on her.

_All I need now is a freaking partridge in a pear tree._

"Kate! Open the door. What_ is_ it with you and disobeying simple instructions? You take a few steps towards the door, place your hand on the knob..."

She curled further underneath the blankets on her couch, willing herself to shut him out.

_You got a boy killed today. You really think Castle can make you smile and laugh, and forget you were the one thing, the only thing, between that kid and death, and you blew it._

She heard him curse, softly. Then he raised his voice, and had her bolting off the couch to fling open the door.

"Kate! Alexis is on the phone. She's worried you've drowned yourself in vodka shots. Open the _damn_ door Kate- you're really freaking her out- not cool!"

She opened the door to see Castle glaring at her, the phone held to his ear. Frustration and fury warred in his eyes as he spoke in to the phone.

"She's okay, honey."

Kate almost caved at the relief in his tone, then frowned. _I didn't ask him to be here. _She stared pointedly at Castle, shutting the door half way. He stepped forward and grabbed the handle.

She looked at his hand, then at him. "It's not okay for you to use Alexis on me, Castle. And not fair to use Alexis like that."

Castle huffed and tightened his grip on the door when she pushed it, testing.

"Alexis, can I use you like that?" He listened. "She says yeah. Objection overruled, Detective."

He shoved the door, forcing her to step back. He marched past her and she hastily wiped her face as he finished his call with his daughter, watched as he placed his phone in his pocket, and surveyed the damage she'd done to her apartment, his gaze finally coming to rest on her.

She stared back. _Here you go. This is me. Crazy Kate, fallen to pieces. Over a drug addict no less._

He just shook his head slightly and she refused to flinch from the sorrow she saw in his eyes.

"Alexis sends you her love and also, this tub of Ben & Jerry's- cookies and cream." He held it out.

She looked away. "You shouldn't have told her."

"She asked how you were. I told her the truth."

"You should have lied!" She snapped.

He just looked at her, and she glared back until she realised what was wrong with what she'd said. "I didn't mean- I just meant- she didn't have to know I'm a wreck!"

He nodded. "No, she didn't, and I didn't tell her you were a wreck. I just said you needed a friend. She'd like to be your friend, Detective. So would I."

She shook her head. "I don't need _friends_ right now Castle, I need to sit on my couch under my blankets and-" she hesitated.

"Cry?" He suggested.

She shrugged, willing her voice not to break. "Mourn."

He nodded, understanding. "Well, that's too bad..."

"Thank you," she murmured, relieved he was just _going_, so she could crawl back under her covers and hate herself till morning.

"...because I'm not going anywhere."

_What?_ She blinked. "Castle-"

"-Uh!" He cut her off. "If you tell me you're fine I will shoot you."

"With your tommy gun?" She mocked him, then deflated slightly as he just watched her with that expression that said she'd have better luck getting Ryan to dress in drag than getting Castle to leave just yet. "What do you want, Castle?"

He shrugged, slightly, smiled at her. "I just want to keep you company for a while, Detective."

She just looked at him, and he gestured to her couch. "How about we sit?"

He went and sat down, then looked back at her over the couch. "You know, the sooner you do as I suggest the greater the chances are that I'll decide to leave you alone."

Since she couldn't entirely fault his logic there, she went and slumped beside him on the couch.

He placed her ice cream tub on the floor, took her blanket from her and arranged it over both of them, neatly.

They sat in silence for a moment, while she tried furiously not to start weeping again and she could see him flipping though his mental files searching for something to say.

"He'll still be dead tomorrow."

She looked up, shocked and instantly furious. "Castle-"

"Let me finish," he snapped, and she reined herself in, still ready to verbally beat the crap out of him. "I meant, that this is a tragedy. You were trying to protect a young boy caught up in a drug gang. You were trying to get him help after his brother was murdered. You were trying to stop him being caught up in a life of crime. But you can't change the past, Kate. You know that."

She shook her head, hating that tears were threatening again. "I followed him, Castle. If I hadn't tracked him after he ran out of the station, the gang wouldn't have seen me with him and shot him for selling them out. This is my fault."

He shot her a look of disbelief. "For caring."

She shook her head, once. "For not thinking ahead. Of course they would have seen me- of course they'd make me for what I am. How could I have been so _stupid_? I should have just let him come back to me, should have done some digging to find out where to confront him someplace _safe-_"

She broke off as her voice hitched and Castle slid over on the couch to envelop her in a hug.

"I was rash, and impetuous, and for that someone died today. Someone who deserved a life." She spoke into his shoulder, struggling to steady her voice even as tears slid down her face onto his jacket.

He spoke, quietly, against her hair. "You did an incredibly brave thing today. You followed somebody you had no reason to trust into a place you had no business being, to try and convince someone who was _returning_ to his gang neighbourhood that you would fight for him."

She closed her eyes tight, fighting to keep it together as his words wove through her, and she felt his arms tighten, holding her fast before she'd even decided to pull away.

"You, Detective Beckett, are neither stupid nor rash. But you fight for the good in people, and sometimes that puts you in situations outside of your control. You didn't put that boy in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was just _in_ the wrong place, at the wrong time. And it's sad, and it's awful. But you have to live with it, and get it into your head _you did everything you could._"

She managed a derisive laugh into his shoulder. "Yeah, and look where he is now. Five star accommodation in the morgue."

He drew back, and she couldn't stand the pity she saw at the back of his gaze. "Don't look at me like you know me." She snapped, her gaze flickering between his face and the space between them, wiping furiously at the wetness on her face.

He just raised his hands, skimmed his thumbs under her eyes, then raised his brows at her, a rueful expression on his face. "How else would I look at you?"

She broke. She sobbed once, putting both hands over her mouth to cover the sound, drawing her legs up under her, trying to make her body smaller so it would be easier to control, trying to curl around the pain in her chest.

Castle moved, came to kneel beside her. "Kate." He waited, patiently, until she looked at him. He dipped his head a little, searching her eyes. "It's me, okay?" He kissed her, softly, slowly, and she felt sorrow crash and collide with something bigger, something stronger within her as she clutched at his arms, too stunned to do anything but feel.

She ended up on the floor, weeping uncontrollably in Castle's arms.

Sometime later, when she'd started to breathe without pain lancing through her, she let him persuade her that melted Ben and Jerry's tasted just as good as were sitting side by side on her couch taking turns to sip from the tub, and she remembered the card he'd flicked under the door, telling her to call the number.

"Whose card did you shove under my door?"

"Oh. The plate smasher."

She frowned. "The plate smasher?"

He looked at her, surprised. "You don't know Gus the plate smasher? You go to his establishment, pay for fifteen minute timeslots, and you go down to his basement and smash all the plates you want. It's alternative therapy. The guy's a legend amongst spurned wives and men who already broke their Guitar Hero."

She stared at him."For real?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh." She was silent for a few seconds. "Do you know everybody?"

He smiled. "Just the important people."

She smiled, then stifled a yawn.

I should let you get some rest." He stood up, and she followed him to the door, let him pull her into a hug.

"Castle." She spoke into his jacket, noting the tears she'd left on it had dried.

"Yeah?"

I did need a friend. Thank you. And thank Alexis too-wait." She pulled back a little.

"You said you just told her I needed a friend."

He smirked at her. "Correct."

"Than who was on the phone?"

"Oh, that was Joe, my pizza delivery boy."

She stared at him, waiting, and his smile widened. "I was talking to no one. I made it up. It's what I do, are you going to sue me for following my dream?"

"I'm probably going to sue you for false coercion." She grumbled, not entirely sure whether to be pleased Castle's daughter just thought she was sad as opposed to having a meltdown the size of Greenland, or pissed she'd been such an easy mark.

"Oh, my coercions are never false." He assured her.

"Huh."

He frowned at her. "What do you mean, huh?"

She raised a brow at him. "You kissed me to coerce me into having a nervous breakdown."

His mouth fell open. "I did no such thing."

She pulled away, shrugged, trying to look as if she didn't have a care in the world and not a churning hole in her gut. "You did what you had to do Castle; it's okay. Forget I said anything."

He cocked his head at her and she had the sudden uncomfortable thought that he knew exactly what she was thinking. "Let's get one thing straight, Miss Beckett. That? That kiss was comfort."

"Oh." She turned to open her door, strangely disappointed and weirdly relieved all at once.

As she pulled it open a hand reached past hers and shut it again.

She frowned, turning. "Castle-"

And then his mouth was on hers, and whatever she had been going to say suddenly wasn't of the greatest importance.

He eased her back against the door, his mouth working on hers, until her hands were under his jacket and his were lightly caressing the skin on her lower back, making her arch against him.

He took her under until she heard him make a noise deep in this throat, and he broke the kiss, taking advantage of her gasps for breath to start placing teasing kisses on her neck, making her toes curl for the second time in as many weeks.

The only coherent thought she had was that if he kept doing that thing that he was doing below her ear she was going to start whimpering and then she'd never hear the end of it.

He drew back, after a final, bruising kiss. "That? That was passion."

He brushed a thumb over her bottom lip, grinning as she closed her eyes briefly, then glared at him, clearing her throat when her voice came out somewhat huskier than she'd intended.

"Don't look so smug."

He gaped at her, mock-offended. "Me? Smug? Never." He stepped closer, keeping his eyes on hers, and against her will she felt a blush spreading across her cheeks. He leant down, she closed her eyes.

He placed a kiss just under her ear, then gently bit her earlobe, making her squeak, then flush even more in embarrassment.

She opened her eyes, meaning to glare at him when he chuckled, then promptly closed them when he did it again.

"I'll be smug, Detective Beckett," he murmured in her ear, "when I put that glassy-eyed, satiated look on your face a few more times."

_That's it. _She pushed him away, trying desperately to fix a stern expression on her face. "Really, Castle? 'Cause I don't like your chances tonight."

"That's okay; I don't want to kiss you anymore tonight." He returned smoothly, smirking when her jaw dropped. "Goodnight, Detective Beckett."

She flicked a wave at him. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Castle."

He bowed to her, briefly. "Glad to see you're back."

She considered him. "Yeah." And before she could think it through, she stepped forward, into his arms. Refused to get emotional when his arms came around her, hard.

She waited, one beat. Two.

When it hit ten seconds and she started to get uncomfortable, she disentangled herself.

"Thanks, Castle."

He was looking at her with that expression on his face she wasn't ready for him to wear, but she held his gaze, anyway.

"You're welcome, Kate. Good night."

She shut the door behind him, firmly denying the impulse both to watch him walk down the hall and to break out into a full blown grin.

She leant back about the door, blowing out a sigh. Nodded, fatalistically,

_It's official. Frying pan, fire._

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not think you can smash plates at random establishments as therapy...but I wish you could.

This was a Whopper. Not as in the burger, but you know what I mean. I hope I got this right- I wanted it to be something I'd like to see, but still stay true the characters- will you let me know how I did? **THANKS** as always, whether you're reading or reading and reviewing- feedback is gratefully received and greatly appreciated.


	15. Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: Let's face it: if I owned them, there'd probably be a _Castle_ musical. With choreographed dances and everything.

"You know you want to."

"No, I don't."

"I can tell by the way you're looking at me."

Kate Beckett sighed. Then glared at Castle. "I don't think what's on my face provides any indication that I want to go on a date with you."

Castle cocked his head, watching her with that smug little smirk she tried desperately not to find moving in the least. She turned her attention back to her paperwork.

"Kate."

She looked up, spared him one disinterested glance. "Yup?"

He searched her face for second, then shook his head. "Nothing."

"Great." She stared at the page in her hand as though it held the key to her salvation, knowing she was running scared and unable to do a damn thing about it.

She'd woken smiling, from a deep sleep, for a few minutes convinced that her step was light, that the lack of tension in her shoulders and the silence in her head was due to a really, really good dream.

Then she'd remembered.

_She'd been rocked, slowly, held securely in Castle's arms as she'd broken, sobbing on her apartment floor. And then, when the air had cleared and that easy tension between them had re-established itself, he'd tugged his end of the connection. She'd ended up stretched taut against him, helpless and wanting while he'd kissed her. While he'd made the point that this thing that they had, this thing that kept her sane and held her steady also threw her into chaos with alarming alacrity._

So, despite the fact it had taken her twenty minutes to convince herself not to move to Canada and another ten to convince herself that cops were not allowed either to take out or enforce restraining orders on themselves, she'd shown up for work.

Castle had walked in, stopped and smiled at her in that way that made her feel like he was reading her all too well. And then started bugging her to let him take her on a date.

"Kate."

She exploded. "_What,_ Castle?"

He stepped closer to her desk, took her hand. She tensed and took a quick glance around the precinct, but it was early, still and it was just them this side of the bullpen.

"Are you aggravated?"

She stared at him. "Gee, what tipped you off?"

He ignored her, continued. "Annoyed?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Do you feel like it might possibly be a good idea to put me in a gorilla suit and make me sell nuts on 5th Avenue during rush hour?"

Her lips twitched, but she managed not to crack a smile. "I'm seriously considering it."

He squeezed her hand, then took a step back and gave her a gentle smile. "So nothing's different. I still give you a reason to invest in Pepto-Bismol. "

She gave in and laughed, then shook her head, finally meeting his eyes. "Everything is different."

He just gave a _sure-sure_ _, oblige the lady with the gun _wave, and pinned her with a look and a pointed finger.

"Are you still my friend?"

She blinked. "If you stop putting mugs on my desk that say "World's Best Equestrian."

Castle just looked at her expectantly.

She stared back.

He gave her the "sounds like" symbol from Charades.

She pointed back at him. "Are you still my friend?"

He sniffed. "If you stop telling people I have a ten sentence limit when we're on a case. At least make it fifteen."

She smiled, feeling amused and absurdly ridiculous and...balanced, suddenly.

Castle watched her for a second, then smirked again, and she felt her stomach tighten.

"You know, there is something on your face that makes me think you want to go on a date with me."

He stepped closer, closer until she was trying desperately not to move as he leant to murmur in her ear. "Did you know, Detective Beckett that when you're aroused, the tips of your ears go red?"

He eased back, while she opened her mouth, tried to produce sounds. Nothing came out, so she closed it again.

Castle sat down in the chair beside her desk and picked up his pen and pad. "I'll pick you up at seven." He began to write, humming quietly.

Wondering what, exactly, had just happened she picked up her paperwork.

And as they worked in silence, she smiled to herself.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, I know they kissed and everything last chapter, and they didn't kiss and anything this chapter...But I'd be wanting to check the foundations if my world got seriously rocked- maybe Kate would too?

But then I think Kate might also need to live a little. XD

Thank you for the SERIOUSLY AWESOME reviews- thanks everyone for sticking with this and my week gets made whenever I post a chapter- thanks again, and have a great week!


	16. Chapter 16

DISCLAIMER: Nope. Negotiations were in place for some paper clips from Beckett's desk...but my budget doesn't stretch to those, either.

Kate Beckett had a problem.

For the first time ever she was semi-seriously considering going all the way on a first date. Personally, she blamed Castle.

The man had shown up on the dot of seven, kissed her hand, complimented her dress, flustered her by brushing a lock of hair out of her face...and then had practically shoved her out the door, saying something about reservations.

She been irritated with herself for blushing when he'd touched her, then with him for making her blush, and then for making her hurry when she already felt panicky and unsure. So she'd locked her door, and stepped into his personal space.

"What, Castle, no hello?"

She'd found herself backed up against her door while he'd played with her; kissing her until she was arched against him and making noises there was no way she'd admit to making under interrogation. He took her to the point where she didn't care what noises either of them made as long as he kept touching her, and when she'd finally reached for his tie he'd eased them back down to slow and easy, teasing kisses along her jaw line. He'd murmured in her ear a hoarse hello and then something about being late for dinner.

She was just grateful he hadn't mentioned that her first steps after him had been unsteady, enough for him to casually place an arm around her waist, and the heat on her face hadn't died down until they'd almost reached the restaurant. They didn't talk; from the stunned, whacked-upside-the-head look on his face he'd had for most of the drive she figured he had his own problems.

So now she was seriously considering jumping her partner in the restaurant bathroom, which was disturbing firstly because this particular restaurant's bathroom was not built for multi-purpose use, and she _still_ wasn't too worried. But mostly she was disturbed because she didn't normally consider jumping anyone where other people might figure out that she was...jumping.

Then again, she mused, 'normal' was definitely not sitting in front of her bitching about the breadsticks.

"I mean, it's not so much a breadstick, is it? False advertising. _This_-" Castle held up half of the stick he'd been systematically shredding for the last fifteen minutes. "-Is a twig. It's a stunted, growth retarded breadtwig."

She regarded him. "Are you finished?"

He held up a hand. "Not quite. This is the midget of breadsticks. It's a...bwarf."

She raised a brow. "A bwarf?"

He had that look he got when he presented her with one of his insights on a case. Pride, with a hint of _look, no hands, Beckett!_ She shook her head, allowed the grin to slip on to her face as she watched him take a sip of wine.

"And to think, I was going to jump you in the women's bathroom."

Castle choked on his wine. She allowed her smile to turn wicked as she leant forward. "I think the bwarves may have killed the dream a little." She shrugged, watched him struggling to compose himself with no small amount of pride of her own. "Can't win 'em all, Castle."

He straightened his tie, then toasted her with what was left of his wine, smiling ruefully. "Can you tell I'm nervous?"

She smiled back. "Only if I squint."

He shook his head. "I'm trying to sweep you off your feet and I feel like a twelve year old on his first date. I shove you out the door, act like some sort of horny teenager outside your door and then entertain you with miniscule baked goods. My mojo is like, totally gone."

She watched him, arched a brow. "It's just me, Castle. And you weren't...entirely to blame for the hallway incident. The baked goods-that's on you."

Castle gave her a grateful half-smile. "Thank you. And no, it's not just you. It's you and me, and the fact that we're actually doing this is so remarkable that I feel like I'm...watching for eggshells. Am I making sense?"

She nodded, relieved he'd said it. She'd managed to find a tentative balance between the way she felt when he was pissing her off and the way she felt when he was being insightful, or kind, or completely insufferable. She'd even managed to keep an even keel when he tried to be charming. But now, given his current preoccupation with curling her toes in her boots...it was proving to be a challenge.

"I know what you mean. And trust me; I changed outfits three times tonight before you showed up, and you really, really do not want to know how long I spent picking out underwear Donald Trump has more chance of seeing than you tonight."

Castle raised a brow. "You're cheating on me with Donald Trump?"

She just raised a brow back and he grinned at her, his eyes warming. "Alright, but it doesn't seem right to let all that effort go to waste."

She shrugged, ignored the butterflies in her stomach as they flexed their wings. "Trust me, Castle, when it's time you'll know it." She grinned at him. "But I might let you get to second base tonight."

Castle cocked his head at her. "Not that the mental image of that isn't sufficiently distracting, but what's with you tonight?" He gestured in her direction. "I thought I'd be the one talking you down, but clearly I'm the damsel in distress here."

She nodded, kept her face sober. "You are the damsel in distress here, aren't you? Well, I guess I figure...why break tradition?"

Castle leant over and tugged her hair, and she batted his hand away, laughing. "Okay! Okay." She nodded at him, sipped her wine thoughtfully. "It is you and me. And that's scary as hell, and weird and strange and...wonderful all at once. And I thought about it this morning with every intention of telling you today I was moving to Canada."

Castle smirked at her. "To herd moose? Or is it meece?"

She glared at him, then gave in and laughed. "Shut up."

He reached over and took her hand, squeezed gently. "I'm glad you didn't move to Canada. To herd moose or otherwise."

She squeezed back. "This thing we're doing, Castle? It's fractions of the same whole." She shrugged, looked him in the eye. "So I'm here."

"Yes, you are." Castle leant back in his chair and watched her, and she knew he was doing that thing he did where he looked under her skin and read her from the inside.

She moved a shoulder, suddenly nervous. "What?"

He just smiled. "You know, suddenly I find myself very keen to walk under the stars with you, Detective."

She shook her head, confused. "Is that a euphemism?"

"Not unless they've started doing some really kinky things in Central Park at 8 'o clock at night."

She rolled her eyes. "Please. You show me one romantic hand-holding couple, I'll show you a plastic-wrapped menage-a-trois in drag."

He glared at her. "Thank you, moment ruiner."

She glared back. "You're welcome!"

They both huffed and stared holes in the table until she noticed Castle's shoulders shaking.

"What, it's funny we can't go thirty seconds without you being a pain in the ass?"

He laughed out loud. "Yes! Don't you see, Beckett? That's us. We're each other's pain in the ass."

She nodded, refused to smile. "Can I get a refund?"

He eyed her, leant forward so he was hovering just in front of her face. "No. You know why?"

She stared back, fighting to be impassive. "Why, Castle?"

"Because You. Want. Me." He dropped a quick kiss on her lips, sank back, grinning at her. "In fact, I heard a rumour earlier someone was planning to use her police badge to close a bathroom facility purely so she could have her way with me." He waggled his brows at her.

She broke, laughed. "I didn't put it quite like that."

He waved a hand. "Details."

She made a decision, stood up.

He eyed her hopefully. "Are we going to the bathroom?"

She glared at him menacingly and he shrank a little. "No, Castle, but whether I let you drag me to Central Park depends on your next answer so I'd consider it carefully."

He just smirked at her. "Was it Professor Plum in the library with the wrench?"

She stared at him. "I can't take you anywhere."

He nodded. "Mostly not. Second chance?"

She held up a finger, hiding the sudden nerves in the pit of her stomach. "One." He straightened, looking worried and watched her with those writer's eyes.

"Are you here, Castle?" She watched him, fiddled with the pleating on the back of her chair. "I just...I'm here, and I need to know before we keep doing whatever the hell we're doing- are you here, too?"

Castle stood up, came around the table to cover her hands with both of his. "From the first day. And even when I wasn't here in person...there's a place, right about _here_," He placed a gentle hand over her heart. "This is where you are for me, all the time. I guess..." He watched her, seemed to come to a decision. "I guess I just figure I'll be here until the end. "

She just stared at him, trying to get words past the lump in her throat..

He smiled, shrugged a little. "I mean, it's always the best part, right?"

She cleared her throat, nodded at him. "Right."

He watched her for a minute, then offered his arm, bowing. "Shall we, my lady?"

She cocked her head at him, then stretched up to kiss him, smiling against his mouth as his stomach tightened under her hand. She stepped back and then took his hand, lacing his fingers through her own, smiling as she saw surprise and pleasure mingle in his gaze.

She tugged him towards the door. "You know what, Castle? I think we shall."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The End.

I think we'll leave them to their own possibilities on the other side of that door now. I had SUCH a blast writing this and hope to do more Castle stories as inspiration strikes, as long as a few people will read them!

I want to say again THANK YOU for the amazing amount of reviews and the amazing amount of people reading this- that you all took the time to do one or both is such a source of pleasure for me so _merci beaucoup_ a helluva lot. I read every single one and I greatly appreciate the feedback on what everyone thinks of this. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing!

xx Kickstergal


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